About the Editor Robert Marston CWIRE.COM is maintained on a volunteer basis by Glendale resident Robert Marston for the benefit of the local community. Please express your support for CWIRE through a "high five" donation of $5. Your annual contribution helps to defray the cost of hosting and buys ad specialties for over 400 local charities. Thank you!

You're probably thinking "This webpage is probably a complete waste of time!"

Well, you're right -- that's exactly what it is! So have fun, relax, and enjoy... and contribute some useless tidbits of your own!

For Your Enjoyment...

• Anagrams
• Ponderables -- Do you ever wonder why...? (10/99)
• Fun Poetry and Lyrics (5/99)
• Random Text Generators
• Cameron's Chili Cook-off (author unknown, March 17, 1998)
• The Sixth Sense: the Sense of Humor -- a free source of good, clean humor
• So you think you're computer illiterate?
-- by Jim Carlton, in the WSJ
• A Sample College Entrance Exam -- by Hugh Gallagher
• How to Keep the Whackiness Alive in the Modern Workplace -- (Author unknown)
• Church Bulletins -- (Author unknown)
• Favorite G-Rated Videos (from Revver.com)

Better safe than sorry Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house a woman looking out her kitchen window watched as they checked her meter. Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger co-worker to a footrace down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one. As they came tearing up to the truck, they realized the lady of that end house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped immediately and asked her what was wrong. "When I saw two gasmen running as hard as you were," gasped the woman, "I figured I'd better run too!"

A Lipstick Problem According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Finally, the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance guy to clean one of the mirrors. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it into the toilet and then cleaned the mirror. Since then there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

Pushing It to the Limit A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo ...of handcuffs.

"Now You"

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'Ever stumble into something funny while wading through the web? Send it to CWIRE in the name of a local school, church, or other charity, and if we post it, we'll link to a webpage for the organization and credit you for sending it in.

What a fun way to advance your favorite charity!

(P.S. Need we remind you that this is a family-friendly site? Thanks!)

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